Loss
by xYuriChan
Summary: It wasn't until the funeral that Kaito really understood. So many people came to pay their respects to the famous magician. It was a chance for people to talk about the great things Toichi Kuroba had done in life. For Kaito however, the funeral only served to hammer into the mind of a nine year old child that his Dad was gone forever.


Kaito Kuroba had his first taste of loss at age nine. Dumbfounded he watched the television screen as the news did an on the sight report and firefighters attempted to put out the raging fire. He could see his Mother in the background being held back by police as she broke down in tears.

"B-but Dad's okay right?" Kaito had asked, childish naivety giving into false hopes.

Nakamori Ginzou turned off the television and pulled the boy into a hug. Rubbing his back he told the boy that everything would be okay. But he never answered Kaito's question and that was all the answer he needed. But Kaito didn't cry. Not with Aoko watching him curiously and his mind still full of questions. His Father could still be okay right?

The next day his Mother picked him up from the Nakamori's house. When they got home to a stiffening and too quiet house she sat him down on the sofa to talk. It was the first time anyone he knew had died. And he could not understand it.

"Dad's not coming back. He went to Heaven."

He didn't understand these things and Kaito's initial reaction was to get mad. Why would his Father just leave them? Sure there were times that his Father had traveled for work and Kaito wouldn't see him for a long time, but to never come back?

Why was heaven so important anyway?

"Daddy says that Heaven is where people go when they die. It's a happy place where everything is good and there is no death or crime! Aoko's Mom is in Heaven too!" Aoko said as she dug in the dirt in the Kuroba's backyard.

"Don't you miss your Mom?" Kaito asked hugging his knees to his chest.

"Aoko doesn't really remember." She admitted. "But Heaven's a nice place so she is probably happy there."

"But it's no good if they are there alone." Kaito sighed. "Dad is probably lonely. So I want to go to Heaven too."

For a moment neither of them spoke, but Aoko watched him carefully. She had never seen her best friend look so melancholy before in her life.

"Aoko will be lonely if Kaito goes away."

It wasn't until the funeral that Kaito really understood. So many people came to pay their respects to the famous magician. It was a chance for people to talk about the great things Toichi Kuroba had done in life.

For Kaito however, the funeral only served to hammer into the mind of a nine year old child that his Dad was gone forever. Toichi wouldn't even be there to see his son through Elementary school. He wouldn't be there when Kaito graduated. When Kaito got married. When Kaito had kids of his own.

Like Aoko's mother. He was gone forever.

Chikage held her son and let him cry the whole time. She sat straight and greeted people with a strained smile. She was so strong. And Kaito was ashamed to be her son. He should be strong too. He should be holding her. He was the only man around now to protect his Mother. He needed to become stronger.

-XxX-

The night of the funeral Kaito met his grandparents for the first time. He was much older when he learned why he had never met them before now, but he could remember the night clearly.

"Toichi was an amazing magician. You should have seen one of his shows." Chikage said nursing a cup of tea as she sat with her husband's parents. Kaito should have been in bed long ago but he couldn't get to sleep no matter what he tried so he began to eavesdrop from his favorite hiding spot behind the couch.

"Hah magic! Isn't that how our son ended up like this? Isn't that magic the very thing that killed him?"

He didn't quite know why those words had struck him so deeply. Maybe it was because Kaito had only ever seen magic as something amazing. It was beautiful and made so many people happy...but...he didn't understand. It was a fire trick his Father performed countless times. For it to go wrong like that...it didn't make any sense to him.

"Magic killed Dad?"

As much as he was loath to admit it, that did make sense.

-XxX-

Kaito Kuroba was devastated. But he couldn't let that show. He sat alone in his house watching the clock tick. Two weeks had gone by since his Father's funeral and his Mother was gone. Had he done something to anger her? He didn't really think so, but she had left anyway. Italy was what the note had said. She took a job and had to travel away immediately. For the first time in his life he was all alone. Kaito looked at the lanyard on the table, it had white doves and magician's hats decorating it. Kaito took the key, and threw the lanyard away.

He always felt bad for latch-key kids. Like Aoko they always had to go home to an empty place.

Now looking at the key in his hand Kaito was overcome with a sense of self-pity.

It was just…so lonely…

-XxX-

"It is too!" Aoko yelled furiously standing her ground against a few boy's from another class. Kaito watched them curiously for a moment and made a move to walk away. "Kaito-kun can show you!"

She stopped him in his tracks and Kaito gave her a look. "Show them what?"

"The flower thing! They said that magic wasn't real! But you can do magic, so Aoko told them they were lying, but they don't believe Aoko!" She explained.

Frowning Kaito hardened his stare. "Magic isn't real Dummy. It's all a bunch of tricks and illusions and it's all a waste of time." He rolled his eyes.

"Kuroba thinks magic is a waste of time?" One of his classmates laughed. "It's another prank right?"

"Nope." Kaito answered. "I hate magic. So I'm done with it."

Aoko frowned. This wasn't her best friend.

-XxX-

"When it rains, it pours." It was a saying Kaito had heard so many times, but never quite understood. In this moment, as he attempted to run away from some sixth grader delinquents he finally figured it out. Destiny was not being kind to him. The bullies had begun picking on him as soon as they learned that Kaito was not doing magic anymore. It had always been cheap magic tricks that he would defend himself with anyway, so without that extra defense he was unarmed.

They caught him two blocks from his home, and took his shoes. Now Kaito was staring at his sock clad feet wandering what he was expected to do now. He couldn't very well go after them to get his shoes back. That would just be asking for a beating, so he let out a long breath and walked the remaining two blocks in his socks.

Aoko noticed when he ran into her outside his house but she didn't mention it. And he was grateful for that.

"Where's Chikage-san?"

The questions scared him even more then if she had asked about his shoes. He hadn't told anyone about his Mother leaving, not even Aoko and he didn't want to. It was bad enough being a latch-key kid, but having to admit to it after teasing Aoko about it hurt too much. "Can I come over?" He asked. "Mom's not feeling well, so I don't want to bother her."

"Um…okay but if Chikage-san is sick, I should check on her." Aoko explained moving to go to Kaito's house.

"No!" Kaito stepped in front of her. "She's really sick and doesn't want to see anyone and make them sick too. And I never invited you to walk freely into my house anyway, Stupid!"

Aoko's face grew red in anger. Kaito deserved it. "YOU'RE SUCH A JERK KAITO!"

She turned and ran back to her house as fast as she could to get away from her friend. But he wasn't Kaito anymore. That boy wasn't the same best friend she had made a few years back. That boy that didn't like magic, didn't fight back against bullies, and lied to her. That was not her Kaito.

-XxX-

Kaito didn't come to school the next day or the day after that.

"Papa?" Aoko climbed into her Father's lap the man looking about as down in the dumps as she felt. "You're not sad like Kaito too are you?"

Ginzou smiled at his daughter and pulled her into a hug. "Honey, Kuroba-kun and I are hurting for different reasons. Mine has more to do with work, it's nothing to worry yourself over. Is Kuroba-kun still having a hard time?"

"I think Kaito wants to go to heaven." Aoko explained. "He's been very sad, and I think Chikage-san may have gone to heaven too."

"Now what makes you say that?"

"Her car has been gone for days, and I haven't seen her at all for a week. Kaito got bullied the other day and they took his shoes, but he hasn't come to school for a couple days." She explained.

At that the Inspector raised an eyebrow. The information was pretty troubling. "Okay, I'll go over and check on the Kuroba's, you get ready for bed."

"Yessir." She smiled happy that at least she knew someone would be looking out for Kaito and Chikage-san.

Her Father was the greatest.

-XxX-

Ginzou indeed noticed Chikage's missing car. It was much too late for her to have just gone out to run an errand, and Aoko said that it hadn't been here for days. Still, no need to be hasty with his conclusions, the car could just be in the shop. The second thing he noticed was that the lights were all off. They had been off when he came home from work too, so he had just assumed that Chikage-san and Kaito-kun were out of the house. But on a school night it didn't make sense for them to be out this late. He knew Chikage-san had been strict with her son's bedtimes.

He knocked.

No answer.

Common police procedure told him to just leave for now and come back tomorrow to check on them. If still no one came to answer and Kaito-kun was out of school for a third day in a row, then Ginzou could inform the police and they could do an actual search. But a part of him knew that it was a bad idea. Aoko's words rang in his head. Again and again.

Why would she say something about Kaito wanting to go to heaven unless the kid had said something first.

He debated heading around to the backdoor to try his luck when the cellphone in his back pocket started to ring.

Chikage-san

The name on the screen filled him with a little relief, although he wasn't sure where she was calling from since he was in front of her house.

"Hello? Chikage-san, where are you? I'm at your house, but no one is answering."

"What?" Chikage asked. "Kaito-kun…he was supposed to tell you, I got urgently called away to work. I just got back to Japan, but I'm stuck in Osaka due to a storm! I was calling you to ask if you would check up on Kaito-kun for me, I've been calling for two days, but he won't answer the phone. I figured he was just mad at me."

Ginzou's eyes widened at the realization. Kaito had been all alone in this house for over a week? He feared the worst, what if someone nabbed him on his way to school. No one would be any wiser. Or if there was an accident inside? He could have fallen down the stairs and broken his neck! "I'll call you back in a moment." He said. "Sorry about your door."

-XxX-

Kaito's eyes opened slowly to a brightly lit room and he closed them almost immediately. His whole body hurt, and he sweating. It was so hot. He groaned, his stomach doing flips as his now partially conscious state registered that he didn't feel well. He had never had to deal with a fever alone before. His Mother or Father had always been there to help him through it.

"How are you feeling, Kaito?"

"D-Dad?"

"Still out of it I guess…"

"I hate you. You…you left us…"

"Kaito-"

Kaito knew he was crying now. He couldn't stop himself. His muddled brain refusing to work well enough for him to filter anything out at this point. "I hate you for dying! I hate magic for killing you! I hate mom for leaving me! And I hate myself for not being about to do anything but get sick!" He started coughing.

"Hush now, you're gunna make yourself sick."

Kaito obliged.

"Magic's not all bad right? I mean, you always did manage to make Aoko smile with it. Heck even Kaito Kid can make people smile with it. You're a magician at heart, I can tell just by looking at you. I don't think you could hate magic even if you wanted to. I don't think you could hate anything. Not me, or your Mother. Get some rest Kaito, you need it."

-XxX-

"I had a really weird dream when I was sick." Kaito commented shuffling a deck of cards that Ginzou let him borrow. "Dad was talking to me…and I said some really mean stuff to him. Nakamori-san! Pick a card!"

Ginzou hummed and decided to play along, picking a random card and barely glancing at it before setting it back in the deck randomly.

8 of spades.

Kaito began to reshuffle the deck. "I didn't mean any of it…I love my Dad…he taught me some really amazing things."

"I'm glad you think so. Toichi was a really amazing guy." Ginzou replied.

"Yep. And I think…I like making people smile. So I am going to be a magician too."

"Like your Dad?"

"Nope! Better then my Dad! And Kaito Kid combined! I am going to be the greatest magician this world have ever seen!" Kaito exclaimed.

"I knew you'd say something like that." Ginzou chuckled.

Kaito smiled. "That's okay, I knew it wasn't my Father talking to me the moment I woke up. Thanks for helping me."

Ginzou turned to look at the suddenly melancholy boy again with worry. "Kai-"

The boy however, suddenly looked up at him with a bright smile of his face and held up one card.

8 of spades.

"Is this your card Nakamori-san?"

-XxX-


End file.
